Tracy morgan quotes

I don't like doing stand-up for little kids. It's not geared for that.

A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we had shows like 'All in the Family' and 'The Jeffersons.' We made fun of ourselves then.

I want to let my fans know I love them and I'm coming your way and I'm bringing truckloads of funny.

Every person has contributed to me as a human, but a lot of the characters I do are ones I created.

Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don't care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don't mind.

Michael's the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it's Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

When I was a young kid, my pops introduced me to it. He took me to Harlem, 145th and Edgecombe, to watch the filming of Claudine with James Earl Jones and Diahann Carroll. That was my first taste of seeing a set and the cameras, and I was bit by the acting bug at a young age.

I give [Barack Obama] a 10 [on a scale of 1 to 10] because he's not God, and he inherited a couple of wars, and a financial mess.I want to see him curse somebody out on TV. You can't finesse a bull. He's gotta throw down. He's in the shark tank.

The truth is, I've never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that's a good thing. You know why? Because I'm not. Wasn't that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I'm funny!

Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don't mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn't stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I'm very in touch.

Stand-up is mine. It's a part of me.

I can't watch American Idol... it's like karaoke without the booze.

Live every week like it's shark week.

I never wanted the ha-ha-ha laughter [at my shows]. I always aimed for the gut. I always aimed for the pretty girls in the front row, laughing and leaning over and pooting.

I think the word 'pregnant' is funny.

Stand-up and comedy is the place where we are supposed to be able to make fun of all of the world's ills.

My father was funnier than me. My father was Richard Pryor-funny. I'm just a better businessman.

I can make people laugh at the drop of a dime. God's given me that ability.

When a child is born, it's born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I'm still a good person, and I thank God for that - He's working with me on it.

Eddie [Murphy] is an icon. He's one of the reason why I started doing comedy in the beginning. He opened a lot of doors for black people.

Make your judgments and then you don't have to worry about it. You're always going to have those people who are offended about every little thing.

I like to do stand-up for people who live real life.

I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I'm passionate.

To me, politics is a pile of tricks.

George Carlin is an influence on a generation. He made me want to do comedy.

Bones heal, but the loss of my friend will never heal.

My father was the role model I looked up to. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me to do better than he did. He never sold a record in his life, but to me he was still a rock star.

I don't really take the college tours and all that. Those are young people and I'm quite sure they're mature enough to understand, but they haven't seen or lived real life yet.

I'm from Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. So, you grow up around police officers. Some of them are in your family, some of them you have encounters with. I had a young police officer we were friends with in our group.

I'm not really struggling about my career. The struggles are in my personal life. I can't really pinpoint how long it took me to get where I'm at, and I didn't care how long it was going to take, because it's not about the destination, it's about the journey.

I'm a big, big movie fan. I watch 'The Ten Commandments' and the original 'Planet of the Apes' every night.

I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.

I'm not really much into politics, because it's rarely discussed in my line of work.

If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned.

What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I've realized nothing lasts.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I'm very giving. Even if it's for nonsense, I'll give it to you.

When I do stand-up... I get to do whatever I want to do. There's no boundaries. You'll get to know me. You'll leave with a piece of me.

I don't even deal with politics. I just don't believe in them. I think politics are politricks. My whole thing is power to the people. I don't put my faith in any one man. I keep my faith in God. That's where I keep my faith.

Stand-up is my foundation. That's where it started at. And I love it because it's personal. It's mine. It's all me. It's my experience in life.

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy.

Saturday Night Live' was like a university for funny.

People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive.

I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.

My sense of humor was a tool for me getting past my mother and father separating, my older brother having cerebral palsy, and the bullies in the schoolyard. I had to make them laugh to keep them off my ass. I brought that to my professional career.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I'm not really much into politics, because it's rarely discussed in my line of work, but I know that Barack Obama is trying his best, and that at some point down the road, he's going to get it right.

Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That’s why they call it the Fists of Fury. Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I’m not mad at anybody. I’m not mad at any human being because I’m a human being.

Stand-up is really personal. It's not like somebody else is writing the script and you have to do what they write.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

Fame doesn't matter. Money doesn't matter. Those things are forever fleeting. I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.

I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am - just working.

My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of The Color Purple. It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same.

I just want to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, so that when I'm long gone my great-great-grandchildren can walk up to it and say, "That's my ancestor." That will be my legacy.

Let's focus on the funny. ... That's what I'm focused on... This is the gift God gave me. That's what I want to touch in people.

It's just, people recognize you for your work, you know? They love you for your work, and they judge you for your work. It's awesome to have people quoting you. I love it.

I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I'm at. I'm like Marvin Gaye.

Everything I talk about in stand-up is my experiences as an American, as a father, as a husband, as a black man, as a human being.

Too many people focus on the thing, instead of the heavenly glory of it. I don't want to give away what to expect.

I'm not focused on the outrageousness. I'm just focused on being funny, and raising my kids. I don't even read the newspaper, I don't read that crap.

I don't have a hateful bone in my body. I don't believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.

Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It's what I started out doing.

It's very important to be in your child's life and know what's going on and be there with them.

The actors are different, although I didn't set out to be different. My inspiration came from people like Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence and Will Smith. The genre is what it is. My inspiration was drawn from great movies like 48 Hours, Bad Boys and Rush Hour.

People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. Thats it. I dont want those people knockin on my door, man.

I live life and I don't take it for granted.

Young stand-ups, we ought to do comedy in George Carlin's spirit, in Richard Pryor's spirit, in Jackie Gleason's spirit, in Lucille Ball's spirit, because they did it with the spirit.

In my heart, I really don't care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that's the important thing here.

I touch on sex in my stand-up and it's funny, because when I talk about sex from an adult point of view, people cringe. But if I talk about war or killing, people laugh. So it's sick. It's really demented.

They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that -- when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

I've got to show life as I see it.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.

I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn't together.

I love "30 Rock" because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

I would love to try action films.

I love being around people who love to do what I love to do, which is comedy.

Stand-up don't get no respect - it's the hardest thing to do in show business. You don't have no band and there's no music.

I don't do drama. I'm a comedian.

I love Ice Cube and Charlie Day. They're brilliant men, great actors and very funny people.

I'm not a hateful person and don't condone any kind of violence against others.

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that's a beautiful thing.

Outside of show business, I live a normal life.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.

You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he's a genius.

I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.

I see the ups and downs. I see the mistakes I've made. I see a funny person. I see a serious person. I see a diamond. I see the good times. I see the bad times. And I see knowledge of self. I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

When I'm in the mood to listen to music, I do like to go to the SkyBar [ L.A.].

I'm not afraid to move away from funny. I'm not afraid of that.

Because Eddie [Murphy] came from where I come from, the Bushwick section of Brooklyn. People in the projects used to call me Fat Murphy.

The truth is if I had a gay son, I would love him just as much as if he was straight… I might have to try to love even more because I know of the difficulty that he would have in society.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

I think people would want to see Tracy Morgan host Saturday Night Live.

My father was the role model I looked up. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me to do better than he did. He never sold a record in his life, but to me he was still a rock star.

Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes.

You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.

I had a great time working on 'Saturday Night Live.' It was one of the important times in my life.

Sometimes I think we're exposed to things we shouldn't be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person's whole life.

The things I did on Saturday Night Live are going to stay as Saturday Night Live. You've never seen Eddie Murphy do a Gumby movie. There's a lot more new material inside of me.

I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the type of dad that will drop everything I am doing for them, and always tell them to talk to me about it.

I don't take any relationships for granted and I won't ever again. I just enjoy life.

If you don't laugh, you're going to cry and people are crying. That's why I guess you have lots of people like comedians to keep us laughing.

I'm old, and so busy with work, that I like to just stay home and get my sleep now. I try not to burn both ends of the candle.