Fiona apple quotes

I had really bad obsessive-compulsive disorder. At its worst, I was compelled to leave my house at three o'clock in the morning and go out in the alley because I just knew that the paper-towel roll I threw in the recycling bin was uncomfortable, like it was lying the wrong way, and I would be down in the garbage.

There aren't many poster children for cool angst. Everybody thinks it's cool if you're the bad girl.

Heaven help me for the way I am, save me from these evil deeds before I get them done.

Because for whatever reason, even though I want to stay home all the time and be left alone, I want to tell the world who I am now.

It's weird not having companionship and not having somebody to talk to. I have two goldfish in my hotel room. They said, "If you would like companionship, we can bring you a goldfish." I was like, "Bring me a goldfish!" I have two because when I needed the water changed they brought another one. I was like, "Don't take Desmond!"

For me, the best times are always going to be the most intense, the ones with the highest highs and the lowest lows.

Divas are not made, they are born.

Men are my bread and butter. It's what I live for! I have no shame about that.

I keep living this day like the next will never come.

If I were to imagine myself as an idler wheel inside some big mix of gears, then I would be connected to everything. It's not like there's just me and then nothing.

I would never kill myself, but you can kind of let yourself die.

When I watch TV, and TCM isn't on, I just switch channels and look at all the information about everything. The internet is perfect for that, which is why I didn't really want to get a computer in the first place. I thought, "If I have a computer and know about this whole Google thing, I am not going to be able to sit still for a second; I'm going to think about something and then have to look it up." I have never bought myself a computer or a phone, but guys in my life have bought them for me, for whatever reason. So now I have them.

Come on. I got drunk when I was like 5.

I was screaming into the canyon at the moment of my death; the echo I created outlasted my last breath.

If you want to see me cry, just come to a photo shoot.

I read on the Internet that I was dead.

Nobody is strong enough to not be influenced.

As a person who performs on stage, it's good to be emotionally open. If you mess with someone when they are in that state, it's like you're messing with an animal when it's eating.

Hearing my songs in public freaks me out a bit. There was one restaurant I really liked in L.A., but I had to stop going there when they started playing my music. It felt kinda awkward.

I would really like to go back to school. I would love it now.

I only write when I'm angry or sad, so because that's when I just have to write... If I'm having a good time and I'm happy and things are going really well, why would I want to stop what I'm doing to go and write at the piano?

I spend a lot of time trying to not do anything bad to anyone, but you can't live your life and not hurt people.

I've always said I don't want to have kids. I don't want a kid at all, but I do like reverse-engineering myself; managing and parenting myself.

I took off my glasses while you were yelling at me once more than once so as not to see you see me react. Should've put 'em, should've put 'em on again so I could see you see me sincerely yelling back.

I'm a really good parent to myself sometimes, and I do things that make me learn and grow.

Dreams can be deceiving, like faces are to hearts.

No, I don't believe in the wasting of time, But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine

I'm a tulip in a cup. I stand no chance of growing up

Love is love, and there will never be too much.

Nothing that you do will ever feel good if you let people convince you that you have no choice.

It pisses me off to think we're conditioned to push away bad feelings and think anything that's uncomfortable is to be avoided. When things are really bad nowadays, I recognize the value in it because it's me filling my quota- it's going to make my joy more intense later.

Don't waste your crazy!

It's a sad, sad world when a girl will break a boy, just because she can.

How can you go wrong with two people in love? If a good boy loves a good girl, good. If a good boy loves another good boy, good. And if a good girl loves the goodness in good boys and good girls, then all you have is more goodness, and goodness has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

The truth is it's fun to be up there and know that you're in your underwear. Even though I know I'm exploiting my sexuality in a certain way, it's fun! It boosts my ego.

I just want to feel everything.

Rape is the most humiliating thing that can be done to you; it's the most vulnerable that you can be. But once I realized that, I became a stronger person and faced all my fears.

I don't want to be one of those people who claim to hate labels, but it's true. I even feel that we've got it all wrong with the whole gay/straight thing. There is a spectrum. Everybody is completely different. Some people are way over on this side of the spectrum, some are on the other side, and some are crossed in certain ways.

"The way I feel about music -- any song, any style -- is that there is no right and wrong, only true and false. If the music and lyrics are conceived out of honesty and if the production of the song goes along with its original message, then what has been expressed is art, regardless of what anyone's opinion is of it. So things are a lots impler if you just tell the truth.

Home is where my habits have a habitat

I just don't really listen to music. I'm probably missing out, but I don't want to know what everybody else is doing. Nobody is strong enough to not be influenced. And I don't mean influenced by copying - I'd be influenced because I wouldn't want to do what someone else is doing. I want to be able to do whatever I feel like doing and not worry about anything.

What's really good is African drum music.

You're all I need and maybe some faith would do me good.

Everybody sees me as this sullen and insecure little thing. Those are just the sides of me that I feel it's necessary to show because no one else seems to be showing them.

I really don't think anything I do is a mistake. It could be if I didn't learn from it. But in the long run, no matter what I do for the rest of my life, I'll know I did something wonderful by saying what I felt. That's what I said at the awards there: "Go with yourself." And that's what I did.

But I honestly don't read critics. My dad reads absolutely everything ever written about me. He calls me up to read ecstatic reviews, but I always insist that I can't hear them. If you give value to the good reviews, you have to give value to the criticism.

Sometimes interviews are fun and good conversations, but stuff like photo shoots and appearances at places where you have to meet a lot of people - I was never really made for this kind of stuff.

Even though I found you on an ordinary day, it felt like I found a precious pearl in an oyster when I deep dived into the sea. Baby, you are really that precious to me.

When I came in from Paris recently, for some reason the guy from customs wanted to know what kind of music I wrote. I was like, "I really want to please you so you don't keep me here, but I have no answer to that."

I'm such an incredibly, stupidly sensitive person that everything that happens to me, I experience it really intensely. I feel everything very deeply. And when you feel things deeply and you think about things a lot and you think about how you feel, you learn a lot about yourself. And when you know yourself, you know life.

I lie in an early bed thinking late thoughts, waiting for the black to replace my blue. I do not struggle in your web because it was my aim to get caught. But daddy long legs I feel that I'm finally growing weary of waiting to be consumed by you.

When you're famous weird things will happen that end up hurting your feelings. I'll get a letter from somebody I knew a while ago and I'll be really touched. Then I'll turn over the envelope and their business card falls out.

How can I ask anyone to love me when all I do is beg to be left alone?

And if I'm being honest, I don't think I have an ex-boyfriend who would have something mean to say about me.

I don't think what I look like is relevant.

I got into therapy in the fifth grade because I said in a sarcastic way that I was going to kill myself, and they didn't get it then. Nothing's changed.

I really believe in completely being naive and having high hopes when meeting someone new. I can kind of re-do my stupidity or my naivete.

Now I feel like whatever I do, no one can hurt me. I cannot be violated, I cannot be humiliated, I cannot be disregarded, I cannot be disrespected.

I've been a bad, bad girl - I've been careless with a delicate man.

I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way/ And say I've been getting along/ For long before you came into the play.

What will an angel say that the devil wants to know?

The worst pain in the world is shame.

I don't care what people do. I don't care how people remember my albums. I do them for my own reasons.

My mind goes to tragedy first.

If women want to be appreciated for what we're saying, we've got to wear turtlenecks and long pants.

Never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie.

I never went to concerts when I was a kid, so I never knew if what I was doing onstage was right.

If I respect myself and believe in what I'm doing, no one can touch me.

My whole life, people have been saying, "Why are you so angry?" and I didn't know what the hell they were talking about. After I saw myself at the MTV Awards, I realized, Wow, I do kind of come off a bit intense. I wasn't upset at MTV at all - I didn't mean to come off that way. But I think it's good if I appeared a bit angry. People are too complacent.

Through the media, we've establishes this standard of what every human being should look up to: somebody who always looks right; who always has the right light on their face; never has bags under their eyes; never says anything inappropriate. Somebody who always somehow turns out perfect. I hate the fact that celebrities are supposedly a higher class of human being. That's the way I felt growing up, and that's the way I think a lot of people feel. So now that I'm in this position, I want to change things. I want to be like the patron saint of reality.

These days I don't know who really likes me. I always assume most people are bullshitting me.

My problem was that I felt ashamed of feeling sad or angry. Now, I don't hide my vulnerability in my lyrics. There's no way I was going to get raped and not get something out of it. I learned about power and hope and forgiveness. I like who I am now and I wouldn't be who I am if that hadn't happened.

You fondle my trigger, then you blame my gun

Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love.

I can spend a lot of time on the internet as a substitute for TV. This is part of the reason why I'm not a good girlfriend - you can't sit down with me and watch a movie. I hate being strapped down to stay with something.

It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion.

When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be even lonelier than when you're by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anybody or talk to anybody, you feel like you're really alone.

I'm not lazy, but I don't have that spur on my ass that most people have, like, "Oh, god. I have to get something out or else my career will be over!" I don't really care if my career is over.

I resent limitations. I'm going to be this way for a while, and then the funny side of me is going to come out. Slowly, people are going to realize they're seeing a completely honest evolution of human life.

The way I feel about music is that there is no right and wrong. Only true and false.

I've done things that can be made fun of. It's not such a bad thing. If I'm going to end up a role model, then I'd rather not end up being the kind of role model that pretends to be perfect, and pretends that she always has the right thing to say. I'm a product of role models that didn't make me feel like I was as good as them.

For many years, I was a really heavy drinker, but people don't know about that because I'm by myself all the time. Recently, I didn't drink for eight or nine months, and I learned that alcohol was quadrupling the embarrassing moments - those moments when you're drunk and you say something you remember the next morning and feel embarrassed about.

There are lots of poster children for angst. But there aren't many poster children for cool angst. Everybody thinks it's cool if you're the bad girl. But what about the people who are really not feeling that great? Why can't I get up in front of millions of people, as a person who represents my generation, and tell them that I'm angry? Who puts these limits on what my personality should be in public?

Though dreams can be deceiving; like faces are to hearts, they serve for sweet relieving, when fantasy and reality lie too far apart.

He goes along just as a water lily Gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats Unweighed down by passion or intensity Yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts And he finds a home in me For what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap

The only reason that it takes me seven years to do stuff is because I just don't really have a plan.

I really don't think anything I do is a mistake. It could be if I didn't learn from it.

I’m amorous but out of reach / A still life drawing of a peach.

I was so self-critical. I still am, but it's not as bad anymore.

I don't have a big thing about leaving my mark or being historic.

I want to move back to the East Coast. I like Venice, but L.A. is ugly. I would kill myself if I had to look out the window and see some places in L.A. every day.

I volunteered at UCLA's occupational therapy ward, where there are lots of kids with autism and emotional problems. I just wanted to prove to myself that I could not break down and cry at everything, and that I could just help somebody else. The one thing I really remember was that when we would take them out of the hospital for a walk around campus, they would freak out the most when we were waiting for the elevator. I remember the guy at the elevator said to himself, "Transitions are the hardest." And I said to myself, "Transitions are always the hardest."

I stand by everything I've ever said, apologies included.

My heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within, but then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full and sank in the burrows of my keep, and all my armor, falling down, in a pile at my feet.

I might sound crazy about this but, years ago, my mom told me: "We almost died when you were born. Both of us." I was a Caesarean baby, and the doctor who delivered me later told me, "I opened your mother up, and you were right there. It freaked me out because everything was broken and out-there." I've thought about it a lot - could this have something to do with the fact that I'm only happy when I'm at home and alone? Maybe I was just freaking out for two weeks before I was born, feeling really insecure.

This world is bullshit. And you shouldn't model your life — wait a second — you shouldn't model your life about what you think that we think is cool and what we're wearing and what we're saying and everything. Go with yourself. Go with yourself.

How can you go wrong with two people in love? Goodness has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Love is love, and there will never be too much.

I still don't know how to drive. I don't go anywhere, really. My brother drives me. I walk around my neighborhood but I don't go anywhere, nor do I want to.

I'm not turned on, so put away that meat you're selling.

Everything that happens with me gets made out to be a fiasco, but I have every right to do everything I've ever done. I stand by everything I've ever said, apologies included.

When you feel things deeply and you think about things a lot and you think about how you feel, you learn a lot about yourself.

I wouldn't know what to do with another chance if you gave it to me.

My favorite thing is drums. I have a very, very big memory - and I don't have many big memories - of going to see the movie Tap, with Gregory Hines. During one scene, he's in jail, and there's some water dripping down, and he starts tap dancing. I just like that feeling of: "I'm in charge, I can do whatever I want."

I don't want to make this sound negative at all, but in the best way possible I freaking give up. I give up. You can't try and make your life perfect. I'm just trying to have a good time, and I'm just trying to appreciate the things that I have around me. I give up on the 'dream' dream. I think that it's all a dream. I think it's all wonderful and terrible. And I give up in the nicest way.

I'm not a functional person because I don't go on lunch dates with friends. I hear about people having dinner parties but I never do that. I'm not really human.

I want to be like the patron saint of reality.

You know, the age thing really bugs me. Do people have more of a right to not like what I say because I'm 19? I'm up here because of what I write. Obviously, I must know something, or I wouldn't have been nominated for Best New Artist. Sometimes it's like, "You're right. My mother wrote these songs."

I'm incredibly impressed by people who organize to achieve a goal, and believe that they can make a difference and then go ahead and do just that. I think it's incredible.

I'd say that I've been reclusive the last 34 years. That was my big thing as a kid, staying home from school. I've trained myself to be psychosomatically sick a lot. Anytime I go out, it is just something to deal with, even walking to the grocery store. If I'm supposed to go from one place to another place that isn't that comfortable, I usually don't go.

Most of the time you need something to fight against. If something is bothering me, then the only way to get past it is to work through it.

You know, I've always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end.

One of my friends said to me, "Oh yeah, of course you aren't writing." So I was like, "The next time you see me, I'm gonna have a new song." I wrote "Criminal" in 45 minutes when everyone else went to lunch because I had to have a hit. I can force myself to do the work, but only if someone is right up behind me.

You can live your whole life in your brain and not experience what's around you. You go crazy that way. That's why I have to watch myself when I get isolated for too long.

I never thought I'd be in a position where people would be talking about my sexuality and saying how good I look in underwear.

Let me know the way, before there's hell to pay.

No matter how well prepared you are in life, you're gonna fall down a hole, and if you can fix the frayed ends of things, then you're better off.

I think I'm better at live shows than I used to be because I'm way more comfortable with the uncomfortable pauses between songs.

When I was a kid--10, 11, 12, 13--the thing I wanted most in the world was a best friend. I wanted to be important to people; to have people that understood me. I wanted to just be close to somebody. And back then, a thought would go through my head almost constantly: "There's never gonna be a room someplace where there's a group of people sitting around, having fun, hanging out, where one of them goes, 'You know what would be great? We should call Fiona. Yeah, that would be good.' That'll never happen. There's nothing interesting about me." I just felt like I was a sad little boring thing.

Everything that happens to me, I experience it really intensely. I feel it very deeply.

Categories are gibberish to me. I understand - it helps people organize their thoughts. But you can't go too far with it.

When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right

At my lowest moments, I think of people who come to shows. I still get very sad and sometimes I feel like I have no friends, but when that happens now, I'll think of people whose names or faces I don't know - they're my friends and they love me. I've got them. It really does save me. I still feel awkward, but that's the one thing I can grab onto at my lowest points.

If there was a better way to go then it would find me I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me Be kind to me, or treat me mean I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I really, really enjoy fitting words together - but I only enjoy it when it's easy, when it sort of rolls along by itself. I never erase anything [and] I hardly ever write anything down... The song will be finished before I write it down... I won't write a song unless it serves me in some way, unless I feel I have to write the song to make myself feel better. If you're not overflowing with something, there's nothing to give.

I still don't know what Episcopalian means.