Barry humphries quotes

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live.

I love Australia - I think.

I have outlived most of my more athletic contemporaries who jogged, golfed and squashed themselves into coronary occlusion.

I like people who are slightly unhygienic. A little grubbiness isn't so bad. BO chic it should be called.

It's an old Aboriginal word meaning 'Let's get together and have fun'. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it.

I've decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don't, if you put them first, they never thank you. You'll never get a word of thanks from them.

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development.

There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.

I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, you know; it's very comfortable and dependable.

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

Most of my contemporaries at school entered the World of Business, the logical destiny of bores.

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

The whole point of art, aside from the aesthetic pleasure it yields, is that it provides a bridge to the past; that seductive land where we all find certainty and consolation. Nothing quite spans this gulf with such immediacy as the art of popular song.

Friendship is tested in the thick years of success rather than in the thin years of struggle.

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human.

Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit.

I'm an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so.

I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don't feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It's worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.

My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more.

I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.

He's very, very well-known. I'd say he's world-famous in Melbourne.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century.

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother.

If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.

The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken.

Everyone had a Japanese maple, although after Pearl Harbor most of these were patriotically poisoned, ringbarked and extirpated.